A Life Worth Living

Anne of Green Gables shaped who I am today. I was allowed to watch only a few movies on Sunday (we tried as a family to focus on spiritual things that day), but one movie I could watch was Anne of Green Gables. Her optimism in the face of adversity, and the imagination that helped facilitate that optimism, was always inspiring.

"Life is worth living, as long as there is a laugh in it." 

Anne of Green Gables

So true, Anne. So true.

I consider myself a pretty optimistic person. My cheeks often hurt from smiling by the end of the day. I had a church leader ask me one time, "Do you ever stop smiling??" It's something I simply can't help. I love to smile.

Yet even I (like every human being) have to deal with "unsmiley" things sometimes. People are surprised to hear that I deal with anxiety and am currently taking medication for it. I am SO grateful for that medication. I have felt since I have found a) the right brand and b) the right level (that took a couple of years of tinkering) of medication, I can finally take a breath and say "Oh. This is what it feels like to feel normal." I feel like I can function and not feel coritsol flooding my brain while doing mundane things, like falling asleep or getting on a bus. It's liberating. Exhilarating. But most importantly, I can feel the peace of God's love, something that was really hard to feel when anxiety had overtaken my world.*

It got me thinking about how grateful I was that I had a bedrock of testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ before my anxiety got really bad. When my anxiety became overwhelming, my world felt like I was crawling through a tunnel where sunshine simply didn't exist. So if the sun didn't shine, how could I feel connected to God? To know that Jesus was my Savior? I had to hearken back to the things I had learned as a child. I had to remember the testimony that I did have.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Aka "Mormon." I have seen people go through hardships, mental illness being one of them, and then seen them slip away from the faith. Having gone through the ups and downs of mental illness, I can't say I blame them. It's so hard when you're falling down into the precipice of doubt and sadness, to remember to reach out to the strongholds on the side of the cliff.

But here's the key: There have to be strongholds to grab onto in the first place. God is always reaching out with open arms, wanting to hold you. But throughout our lives we need to be creating those strongholds, those places to grip and fiercely hold on to as we reach for those open arms.

It's so important to do the little things every day to build up our testimonies before the storm hits. Before you're swept off that cliff. I feel like for people with mental illness, it's even extra important to do things necessary to bringing the Holy Spirit into your life on a day-to-day basis. So that you can hold on to those strongholds as you await the dawn.

And please, keep holding on! 

"Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it." 

Anne of Green Gables

*Now this is not a post telling the world, "If you deal with mental illness, you have to get on medication NOW!" There are a lot of people I know who deal with it through natural methods like meditation, oils, yoga, homeopathy, etc. I found that for my mental health tool belt, I can't just rely on my medication.  Or just on my essential oils. Or just on deep breathing. Or just on attending church and keeping the commandments. I have to do everything! It's a balancing act. Sometimes I just really need to get on my knees and pray. Other times a good run is what I need. The medicine is simply one of the many things that help keep me sane.